I’m going to gazelle right on over the poetic introduction to my thoughts and simply cry “Eureka!” for I have discovered the answer to one of my troubling philosophical curiosities. I have long been plagued by this haunting sensation that I am not as self-aware as I think I am. But that led me to some serious delving into my mind because I feel fairly confidant and assured. So what is missing?
And what was missing is my understanding! We are who we want to be. Actions of course play a major role in this, but who we pursue, what we are interested in, what personality traits appeal to us, that is us. I am drawn to Grace Kelly’s quiet elegance, magnetized to Marilyn Monroe’s magnificent complexities, bewitched by Audrey Hepburn’s charm, jealous of Elizabeth Gilbert’s traveling gypsy persona, and the list goes on. There are myriads of traits that I pursue and desire and that does not make me any less true to myself than if I generated that within me. I am perfectly aware what comes naturally for me and what doesn’t. Being oneself does not mean you halt progress for fear of becoming someone different. I love confidence, elegance, classiness, charm, kindness, charisma, frankness, wit, and amiability. Why, then, should I not pursue those qualities simply because who I am now might not encompass one or more of those traits perfectly?
This life is for exploration. If you have always wanted to take a chance and be sociable, do it. If you have wanted to see what a wallflower is like, do it. Wanted to drop all responsibilities and leave for Italy? You know where I stand on the subject. Perhaps you have never molded your heart into a home. Try it. Why on Earth keep yourself limited to a small scale image of your identity when most likely you developed this in a time in your life when you were reading a magazine to tell you what to wear? If you no longer care about whether or not you eat meat, or if one morning you have a strange, pulsing desire to run laps around a track, that is indeed who are. For I would never have those urges. And your eyes probably don’t tear up whenever you allow yourself to daydream about the glories and failures of being a Major League pitcher. You are whoever you want to be.