Yes, two entries in one day, ladies and gentlemen. You are graced with my virtual presence once more. I just had to share with you a thought, and I know how you love thoughts.
Something pleasant occurred tonight: I learned something. What a beautiful thing to learn a something, especially when that something is revelatory about your nature or the nature of someone else. I am afflicted by the pain of doubt. I am critical, logical, and analytical when making my decisions. There is benefit in this because I rarely make a decision I can’t find joy in, but it’s a negative because I grind through time that would be better spent immersing myself in the pleasure of the moment. This is especially unfortunate when a man attaches himself to me in a romantic sort of manner.
But no more. I heard some of you in the audience say “How bold you are, miss!” and to that I reply “Why yes, yes I am.” (I apparently lack a command of the English language in this re-enactment.) I have learned something. The feeling of entrapment that so many of us feel afflicted with when we decide to slap a label on our feelings is a lie. Yes, it is. There are many of you searching for the very roses and forehead kisses I just said were trappings, but I’m also guessing there are others of you that feel fervently feverish at the thought of commitment. And if not, then I am just babbling about myself and I’m an idiot so I certainly hope I’m not the only John Mayer/George Clooney hybrid out there.
Back on track…the point of the matter is that the reason people want to wear a ring on their finger is to assure themselves they have a connection with somebody on this forsaken planet. People who want to get the ring off their finger want to have connections with myriads of humans and can’t fathom the idea of having to snip off those beautiful relationships.
So, to weave these thoughts together, what I learned is that it is an illusion to suppose that a relationship restricts your soul from meeting someone else’s. All it means is that your lips have a steady job. I am just as capable of that mesmerizing feeling of seeing a glimpse into a stranger’s murky well of passions, fears, and hopes. It is a grave mistake to assume that because there is someone that has you would run through an airport for, that you are no longer able to have friendships. The idea is absurd.
It’s simple and basic and one of those “why didn’t I see it before?” moments, but I do believe, dear friends, that I have become a better woman tonight. Freedom holds hands with Romance and I can third wheel with them both.